The Raghavan Family in Bangalore

February 2010 Update from Bangalore





Are foreigners messing with the good cooks of Bangalore? Take, for instance, Indira and Rita: when we came in 2004, occasionally we were without a cook and, since the people they worked for often traveled, they'd come and cook for us temporarily. We were wild about their cooking. The two of them came as a team and they could whip up half a dozen yummy dishes in a few hours.





Fast forward to 2009: they go to work for an Indian friend of mine (Tamilian, but has lived in the U.S. for quite some time). You'd think this friend, let's call her Usha, was talking about a different cook: "She can't make the most simple dal or a decent chapati!" Was it because of the five years Indira and Rita had worked for expats? or just a Tamilian with more discerning tastes?





Yesterday, I had idli with sambar. Without wanting to criticize, I told Rita (a different Rita from the above), that Amla (who had come in last month to help out when Rita was out sick) had made her sambar thinner, with no curry leaves and coriander leaves. And I asked her if she could try to do the same. Now, maybe when Rita came to work for us a few years ago she was making nice sambar--but had we asked her to make it a different way? and now my taste had changed and I decide I like it the "local" way? Who knows? Just another example of the possible detrimental effects having so many foreigners invade a place can have.





And don't get me started on salaries. This is an ongoing conundrum. Most locals pay a cook to come for two or three hours and make dinner for the day, plus maybe lunch. They pay 2000rs a month, and the cook goes to two or three homes to make a monthly salary of about 5 or 6000rs. Now, with foreigners coming in who pay 10,000rs per month for around 8 hours, locals have a hard time finding a cook who will be happy with anything lower.

February 1, 2010

On to the also savory topic of real estate in Bangalore. Badri's aunt, Usha Chitti, bought land north of the city some years back. She's been trying to get the title for it and then sell it since she could use the money more than the land. We asked our acquaintance Venkatesh to help out. We met Venkatesh Yadav six years ago when we first moved to Bangalore. He always walked in the park across from our first Bangalore house on 2nd Main in Defence Colony. We'd see him nearly daily, and he became such a big fan of Charlie's when he was a baby that we invited him to his first birthday party. He, in turn, invited us to the puja of his new house a few years ago.

He often talked about housing developments he was working on, so we knew he worked in real estate. So Badri gave him a call to ask him if he could help Usha Chitti locate the papers for her land. I invited him over since Usha Chitti was in town, and we had quite an interesting visit.

Maya to piano

Brought Maya back in time so Eswaran could take Usha Chitti to the train for her trip back to Delhi, and Kamala and Gopal also left today, for the Kerala leg of their trip.
February 2, 2010

Walked with Divya this a.m.

February 3, 2010

Mom had catheterization today because her doctor had noticed an enlarged aorta. Evidently everything came out okay.

Walked up Jeevan Bhima Nagar Road to get septillin (ayurvedic medicine that builds up immune system) at the Himalaya store then walked further to explore. Restaurant Malabar looked cozy and inviting. Went in to ask about the timings (business hours) and who do I find there but Shonalee and her daughter Tamara and her mom. Very small world, this Bangalore, after living here for six years. I love this aspect of this city.

Had an Aperian Global conference call. People called in from Russia, Prague, Tokya, Italy, and Denmark. All were complaining about the bitter cold.

In the evening Kitty came over for wine and a chat. So great having good friends close by.

February 4, 2010

Mom's birthday.

Met Marylouise for lunch at a new restaurant, Catch Marine, 760 100 Foot Road. Yummy sea sole filet and red snapper in creamy herb and wine sauce.

February 5, 2010

Met Theresa Kneebone for lunch at Benjarong, a relatively new Thai restaurant on Ulsoor that has become quite popular. Badri and I went there for our anniversary last year when it first opened and I remember sitting on the lower level and it seeming cold and empty. That has changed.

Theresa is Aperian Global's managing director of Asia Pacific. Turns out we know a lot of the same people, especially some people I was in grad school with at Lesley. Theresa delivered the good news that the daily training fee is being raised from 13K to 18K.

Janaki auntie's son, Richi, released his book today at the Indian Institute of Management (IIMB), Bangalore. Very timely topic on Indian innovation "From Jugaad to Systematic Innovation: The Challenge for India." Basically talking about how folks here need to move from innovation to implementation.

I was going to travel one hour south to IIMB for the book release, until Kitty suggested an evening of jazz at Herbs and Spice. Her friend Chaya joined us and we had a lovely time only a block from home.

February 6, 2010

Charlie to soccer, and Maya to art with Nilu. Molly to a meeting with Kakli. Iccha came over for a playdate after art.

Arushi came over for a playdate with Maya and Diya came at 2 for Molly. Brought Charlie to Rohan's birthday party at Amoeba.

February 7, 2010

Joined Irfana, Brinda, Swati, and Shonalee and their families for lunch at a resort on Kanakpura Road. Brought the kids bathing suits and they had a nice swim. Spent a nice afternoon relaxing one hour outside of the city.

February 8, 2010

Met with Molly's teachers Ms. Bhagya and Ms. . Told them about Molly working with and getting extra help from Priti Joshi.

Maya went straight to soccer from school with her friends in Sangeetha's car. Picked up Maya at Hebbal from soccer at 4:45pm and then to piano.

February 9, 2010

Tutored Naba at the Spastic Society. Molly went to Priti's. Ifb came to replace the washing machine motor.

February 10, 2010

Worked with Naba. Then picked up kids and brought them to the Claytopia Bistro. That's our little ritual at least once a week. Charlie and Maya get chocolate mousse, Molly gets a strawberry smoothie, and I, of course, get a coffee. This is the place, like Cheers, where everyone knows your name. Nice outdoor seating.

Meanwhile, Badri's in Austin, TX.

February 11, 2010

Janaki auntie gave Badri a check that she wanted me to use to choose a piece of jewelry I would like. Towards that end, met Vini on Wood Street to check out. Alas, nothing there to fit the bill.

Maya went for a field trip to Mahika's mom Tanya's off-set printing press in Domlur.

Went for a walk in the old neighborhood with Kitty.

February 12, 2010

School holiday. Vini's daughters, Noor and Mehma, came here for a playdate and stayed overnight. On Saturday we went to the park, Monkey Maze, had lunch, went to the Park pool. Outrageous charges for the pool: 2500rs for five kids and one adult.

Janaki auntie sounding terrible after chemo two days ago.

Charlie went to Tarini's birthday party at Doodle Den.

Charlie soccer

Maya and Molly went to Nilu's for art. Meanwhile, Charlie and I went for art in Defence Colony park. People brought recyclables and made pieces of art. Charlie wasn't terribly interested in it, so we had a great time roaming around the neighborhood, taking pictures (feeling very nostalgic already). Sangeetha came by 6th Main while Charlie was climbing a tree and we chatted. Then Nilu came along in her with Maya and Cavin after art was over.

Molly went to Khushi's for a playdate after art.

I went over to Sarayu's to catch up after a long time over a glass of wine. Meru cab picked me up at 11pm at her house. I got from the driver, Mohammed, outside the gate. I went outside, and what are the odds that there's another Mohammed--picking up another fare--also outside the gate. I eventually found my guy.

February 14, 2010

Went for a swim at the Koramangala Golf Association club with Kitty, Prithvi, and Vidur. Great pool.

February 15, 2010

Went for a pedicure at Woodlands Hotel then visited Janaki auntie, right near by, unfortunately. She was at the Bangalore Institute of Oncology in a new part of the hospital, the Cyber Knife ward.  Strange name for part of a hospital.

Feburary 16, 2010

Enjoying the best of Bangalore. Had a bikini wax and facial with Moni. I'll miss this when it's gone.

Met Priti at Herbs and Spice for lunch. Covered a lot of topics, including Molly and writing elements that Priti's working on with her.

Went to book club at Marylouise's.

February 17, 2010

I was shocked to see a barn owl on the terrace outside our living room today. I figured he wasn't well--he was standing, but not moving too much, until a big fat crow came down and kept bugging him.

Tutored Naba.

February 18, 2010

Went for lunch at Brinda's with Irfana, Divya, Deepti, and Sheetal. This has been a fun ritual we got started--lunch at someone's house each month. Brinda's mom was visiting from Delhi and helped with some yummy entrees.

Picked up Jyothi on 4th Main in Defence Colony and went to visit Janaki auntie.

February 19, 2010 Nilu's Birthday

Gathered dozens of photos I'd taken of Nilu, her art class, and students and made a photo book for her birthday. She is one amazing individual that I never want to lose contact with.

Charlie soccer.

February 20, 2010

Went to the Fireflies all night concert with Kitty, Divya, and Vinay. Fireflies is actually an ashram south of the city and we weren't exactly sure how to get there, but Vinay eventually got us there (without any wrong turns!). Left home and 9pm and was home by 4am. The Lounge Piranhas were the best. Bought a t-shirt as a memento. Massive crowd. People basically had to crowd surf to get out of their row in the stadium seating, if they were lucky enough to get a seat there.

Charlie soccer.

February 21, 2010

Went to Park hotel pool with the kids and Svenja and her daughter Ana (1850rs). Then went to their house for lunch.

February 22, 2010

Walked with Divya.

Deepma Jadeja came over helped me with preparation for half day EMC trainings..

February 23, 2010

Went to Manipal for a comprehensive health check (5600rs). My cholesterol was at a healthier level than it was two years ago. Could it be the oats or more exercise? When I had a mammogram the machine squeeze my breast so hard a drop of yellowish milk came out.

Ishaan came over for a playdate.

February 24, 2010

Did two EMC trainings, half day each.

February 25, 2010a
Janaki auntie in to the hospital for more tests.



February 18, 2010 So many wild things in Bangalore!




Okay, sure. Everybody's used to seeing cows and water buffaloes walking down the streets of Indiranagar, not to mention camels. But went for a walk with Kitty yesterday and saw a monkey in the children's Defence Colony park. Hanging out on the monkey bars just like Molly does!




The day before that was much more touching: I looked out the living room doors to see a foot high owl perched on the guard rail of the terrace. Poor guy wasn't moving much, and a couple huge crows flew down and started pecking at him. I called Sriram at one of the wildlife rescue places I found from directory assistance, and he said if we could capture it in a box, he'd meet us on MG Road so he could take him back to their place and see if anything is the matter. Problem was, when Eswaran got a box and tried to catch the owl, it flew over to a tree out of reach. He hung around a few trees in the neighborhood, then a ledge on the side of our house, then by late afternoon (I first spotted him about 10:30) he had gone away.



After a few minutes of googling "owls in Bangalore", I can be pretty certain that it's a barn owl. Not in the least bit endangered, but terribly endearing. I was sorry to see him go. He had me pretty mesmerized for a while that day.








February 22, 2010


Badri's been in the U.S. since January 26, and we're all missing him badly. I realized I'd been so busy that I didn't notice the things I usually notice.


This morning as I returned from my morning walk with Divya and Irfana, I saw my across-the-street neighbor, Preetha, come out of her gate with her husband and only one dog. It caught my eye, because there are usually two dogs, Toffee and Captain, and today it was only Toffee. I didn't say a word, just raised my eyebrows in a questioning look, and Preetha came over with tears welling up in her eyes. Captain had passed on January 28, nearly a month ago, and I hadn't even noticed.


Preetha raised the great grandparents of Toffee and Captain, and their mother, Lady. There had always been lots of dogs in the house, but in the last five years, just the two "young" ones. So when Captain was no longer there, Toffee became so sad. Looking around the house all day, feeling the void. Preetha's son said that Captain was her tail--no matter where she went, Captain would follow. Even when she thought he was sleeping in the kitchen, she'd find him sleeping outside the bathroom door after her shower. So at 13 years old (his birthday was on January 11), Captain was no more.


Preetha did everything she could when she noticed Captain was having discomfort the last few days of his life. He died in her arms. Years ago, when the great grandparents of Toffee and Captain died, Preetha's veterinarian had told her about a cemetery in Bangalore where he knew a certain someone you could bribe. So she's had every generation since then buried there, each with a headstone. She showed me a photo on her mobile phone of the grave. It was a bit like a cement roof over the gravesite, with an inverted V forming a bit of an opening at one end, where one can place a diya, and a small headstone on top that says "Captain."

The kids loved Captain and Toffee, and they haven't noticed only one being around. It'll be tough when they do. English springer spaniel, I think. Wonderful dispositions.

February 25, 2010

Went to visit Nina, Tutu Chengappa's mother. Her husband died last year, and since then her health has declined terribly. I'm not sure if she recognizes me. It's heart rending to see her like this. She was very supportive of me going back to work, if only part-time, back in 2007. She was principal of a primary school and a very strong and independent Coorgi woman.

Trying to do Priti exercises with Molly.

Called Mom at Brigham and Women's hospital. She had a procedure to see if she needed a stent. All went well, and no stent will be necessary.

Badri returned early this morning on British Air. Very nice to see him first thing in the morning.

Did two separate trainings--morning and afternoon--at EMC.

February 27, 2010

Aanyaa here playdate with Molly

Maya to Lakshya's bday party