The Raghavan Family in Bangalore: 10/01/2005

Thursday, October 06, 2005

October & November 2005 Update from Bangalore

Sat., October 1, 2005

My niece, Katie, had her baby boy, Temana Joseph Hauata, today. My sister Patty and her husband Joe had flown out to be with her for the delivery in Hawaii. Katie's aunt and a dear friend of mine from high school, Nikki, was the delivery nurse. Congratulations Katie!

Took the kids horseback riding today at the Embassy Riding School. I was reminded how terrible the commute was to Maya's school (Canadian School), because we had to pass it to get to the horses. Maya and Molly both went riding but Charlie begged off. It was the first time for Molly, and she loved it.

Sun., October 2, 2005

Went to one of Molly's classmate's, Jaden, birthday party, again up in Timbuktu. It was, again, beyond the Canadian School. I can't believe we did that two days in a row. But it was a fun party, and Molly had another first: she spent practically the whole party in the bouncy castle. The last time she had the chance to go in one, maybe about 5 months ago, she wasn't the least bit interested. This time, it was tough to get her out of it. Maya was in her element with all the activity tables: mehendi (getting dye designs on the hand), jewelry making, tattoos, and balloon sculptures. The toughest part of the day was convincing Charlie that he couldn't go swimming in the pool (the party was held at the apartment complex clubhouse).

Met an interesting American couple from Florida. He works at Microsoft, and they have two daughters 12 and 15. He had lived in India as a kid for about seven years. It was amazing when he started chatting away with Badri in hindi. Not too many non-Indians conversant in hindi.

Tues., Oct. 4, 2005

My French friend, Armelle, came over with her two sons, Elias and Liam, for a playdate with Charlie today. We had so much fun. Great for Charlie to have other little boys to run around with. Unfortunately, they're moving to New York in December.

Friday, Oct. 7, 2005

One of my best buddies I've met here, Laura, just had her baby girl, Liesl Evangelina, today. Problem is, they're in Canada now!

Monday, Oct 11, 2005, Pune

Spent the past weekend in Pune visiting Ravi, Malini, and Appu--Badri's brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. Flew on Friday at 6:30 pm (sat on the runway for one hour while other planes took off--the natives definitely got restless [i.e., our kids]) and arrived an hour later. Maya was so excited to see Appu, and although Charlie couldn't possibly remember him from the last time he'd seen him (over a year ago), he kept saying his name over and over as we got closer.

Pune is in the state of Maharashtra, and is a very special place for us, because that is where we adopted Maya four years ago. In May 2001, I met Malini and Appu in Bombay (where they were living at the time) and we took the train to Pune where I was able to take care of Maya until the paperwork was completed and we became a forever family. I couldn't have done it without Malini and Appu--Malini was expert at taking care of a baby and seemed much more of a natural at it than I, and Appu was five years old at the time. We all slept in the same room at Aurora Towers in Pune. Appu kept Maya quite entertained and Malini was a great help in introducing solid food to Maya. Appu was the ultimate distraction.

This weekend, on Saturday both of our families went to St. John's Home for Women and Children to visit the three women who took such wonderful care of Maya in the first six months of her life: Philomena, the administrator, and Nanda and Sujata, her two nannies. It was a very emotional experience--walking into St. John's and seeing Philomena sitting at her desk with children and helpers around her. Little had changed. The paintings on the walls where Maya had slept were new and brighter, and there were fewer babies available for adoption, but the rest was the same--it felt like we'd been there only yesterday.

Sunday, October 10, 2005, Pune

Went to a nearby park called Empress Garden where the kids had a fabulous time. It was a children's paradise, complete with horse drawn buggy, another horse with saddle, popcorn and cotton candy vendor, a stream running through with a fallen log across as a makeshift bridge (we walked across the manmade bridge, much to Maya's dismay), and dozens of playground rides, many of which the kids and I had never seen before. Maya was on cloud nine. I wish I could have caught on film the way her eyes lit up when she spied a new piece of equipment, then broke into a run with Appu to race to it. Molly was fixated on the yellow tube slide (which there are in the U.S., but we hadn't seen in India up 'til now).

Molly and Charlie napped for three hours in the afternoon, then we went out to their favorite Cafe Coffee Day for a strawberry frappe and sweet (as if the frappe weren't enough!). Went for dinner a mere two or three hours after the treat, so of course the children didn't eat a thing.

Monday, Oct. 11, 2005, Pune

Flew back to Bangalore on SpiceJet. Nice leather seats, but no food to speak of (unless you count peanuts on the way out, and cookies on the way back). The big event of the flight was that Molly went potty in an airplane toilet for the first time. Charlie seems to be getting closer to training time and readiness. I would be one happy mama to have both of the little ones potty trained by the time we go back to the states sometime next year.

Tuesday, Oct. 12, 2005

Charlie woke up this morning feeling a little feverish and with a major case of the "mommies". When he later got up from his nap he had a high fever and stomach pain. How did I know about the stomach pain? He was holding his belly and crying "soo soo ka ka" (pee pee poo poo), but his diaper was dry. I called our pediatrician and he suggested I continue with tylenol and also give him cyclopam. Of course, I had it all in our medicine cabinet. I swear, we could open a pharmacy. Maya had been prescribed cyclopam in the past for stomach pain and cramps, so cyclopam was up there with dozens of other meds.

I must say, among the wonderful things about India is the availability of doctors. One day I'll have to count the number of doctors' cell (mobile) phone numbers I have saved in my phone. And the amazing thing is, they actually answer the phone and help me out. No offense to doctors in the U.S., but I never had any one of our U.S. doctors cell phone numbers.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

We are in the thick of festival season. Dussehra is the first in the season of festivities, and in Karnataka, our state, it is the most important festival of the year. It symbolizes the triumph of good over evil. The festivities last ten days and nights. The first nine nights are the Navaratri, dedicated to the worship of various gods: Durga, Lakshmi, or Saraswati. On the ninth day of Navaratri, ayuda puja(prayer) or saraswati puja is performed in a ceremony where professional tools are blessed: the farmer's plough, the carpenter's saw, the student's books. Cars are also blessed on this day, and our driver, Melvin, surprised us all by adorning the car for the puja.

Maya started riding her bicycle without training wheels. Roads are pretty bumpy though, and Badri'd prefer to leave the trainers on for awhile.

Thursday, October 14, 2005

Much as I hate to say it, it looks like Charlie and Badri are picking up the allergies that Molly has. The telltale sign is the hacking, persistent, dry cough. Since Molly has gone on the Montelukast (also known as Singulair) and continued with the homeopathic medicine (which is supposed to build immunities), her cough seems to have lessened. I'll take Charlie to the doctor on Monday to see what he thinks.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Had a full body massage with ayurvedic oils at Aroma Massage (by Anita), about ten minutes drive from our house. I think I've found a place I'd consider going back to monthly. At 330 rupees or $7.50 U.S. for over an hour massage, I don't think I can beat it. I was going to make an appointment for Badri, because he had a day off yesterday and went to another local massage house (they only charge 250 rupees). Unfortunately, a new person worked on him and he left in more discomfort than when he went in. Aroma only does women though, not gents.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Amma and Appa arrived from Chennai last night, and today we celebrated Molly's 3rd birthday at the Pizza Corner. One of Molly's favorite things in the world is to "jump in the balls", so we figured it'd be a perfect way to show her a good time. Her actual birthdate is Oct. 18. She has the most fun just sitting up on the bars above the balls watching everybody play. We had a few families join us for the fun: Sangeeta and her two girls Koyal and Ghazel; Sarah, Wayne, and three of their four kids; two of Molly's classmates, Samuel and Samrath (and Samrath's brother Sashwat, who is in Maya's class); Amma and Appa and Janaki Auntie and Babu Uncle. Since Molly thinks she herself is a dog, we had a dog cake made by Thea and Jennifer, up in Whitefield, who also made Maya's birthday cake.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Got a call from the school today asking me to come and pick up Molly. She was having tummy issues. I brought her home, she rested on my bed for about 15 minutes, then she was good as gold and up and running around.

Maya went to school today, still with a bit of the sniffles. I'd like to take her to the homeopathic doctor also and get the immune system building meds.

Brought Charlie to our pediatrician, Dr. Chinnappa, because he's starting up with the hacking cough that sounds just like Molly's. He said not to worry--just something viral, and prescribed Calpol, Ventorlin, and Benadryl. I brought up the topic of homeopathy and he asked me if I believe in it. Truthfully, I haven't tried it out enough to know, but I've heard so many friends here swear by it, that I'm willing to try. All I know is, Molly's coughing has greatly decreased, and I don't know whether we have homeopathy or allopathy (the Montelukast) to thank for it.

I feel like most of my phone calls and conversations with both locals and expats have to do with doctors, and everybody knows all the same doctors we're going to. I got a call from a mom at the girls' school asking about Charlie's experience with ear tubes. Well, this woman's pediatrician is also Chinnappa, and he's recommended her to the same ENT (ear, nose, throat doctor), Dr. Raman. I'll be seeing Raman tom'w with Charlie for a follow up on his tubes (aka grommets).

Pouring buckets outside. Just got a box of Lands End closeouts in the mail (ordered two months ago--took one month to get here, and one month to go through customs). So that's pretty much all the clothes the kids will need for the next couple seasons. I'll give Maya the pretty pink sandals as a reward for her nice progress report from school. And tomorrow is Molly's birthday, so I'll find something in there for her, too.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Today is Molly's 3rd birthday--and the poor kid had to stay home from school. Just wasn't herself. When I dropped off Maya, all Molly's teachers were asking about her, saying she just wasn't the same Molly yesterday. They suggested I check for a urinary tract infection (UTI), so when I was at the doctor's with Charlie (went to the ENT for a checkup on his ear tubes), Amma managed to get a sample which I dropped off at the lab.

She went to sleep at 11am for her nap and slept for four hours. When she woke she was ready and raring to go. I'd gone out and bought a birthday cake (vanilla) and strawberry ice cream (her favorite). Celine Auntie stopped by, and after dinner we had a nice family gathering along with Amma and Appa to celebrate.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Picked up the results from the lab (Molly's routine urine analysis), and sure enough, Molly has a UTI. I called Dr. Chinnappa on his cell (mobile) phone and read him the results. He said to pick up an antibiotic, Cefadur, but not to start her on it until I bring in a urine culture. I was thinking, "Well, why didn't he ask for that in the first place," and I found out that a routine analysis is first asked for, and then if that shows proof of a UTI, only then do they ask for a urine culture to find out what is the specific bacteria causing it so they can give the right antibiotic.

Went in to help Maya's class carve pumpkins for Halloween. It's a holiday most Indians don't celebrate, and the school's introducing the concept to a lot of them this week. When Maya came home from school, we pulled out the costumes we had so they could decide what they want to wear tomorrow. The kids are celebrating Halloween early in school tomorrow, so it doesn't clash with the Diwali celebration they're having next week before going on two week vacation. I think Maya will be Little Mermaid again. Molly wanted to put on the tiger costume just as we were going to Sarah's house for a playdate. Of course, she insisted on keeping it on, an outfit that's more appropriate for a New England Halloween than a Bangalorean one.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Today Molly was in a bit of a mood after waking from her nap. I went outside with her as she was crying and asked her, "Do you want to go for a walk in the park?" "No." "Do you want to go for a walk down the street?" "No," she said, "I just want to hang out with you." First time I heard that expression out of her mouth.

Just looking at Maya's journal today and was looking at an entry for her 21st month. Charlie is exactly the same size she was at 21 months: 33" tall and 24 pounds. Little peanut whirlwinds, the both of them. I remember Maya running with our dog Chico in the canyon at 21 months, and now at that age, Charlie has to run everywhere, too. And at 3 (Molly) and 5 (Maya) years old, Molly weighs only 2 lbs. less than Maya.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Went to the Leela again for my 24 hour escape. I think it was more relaxing this time than any other. Maybe because I needed it more... Read books, watched movies, and met Badri for dinner at Jamavar, the Indian restaurant at the Leela. It poured like crazy tonight. We were eating outside and all the dining tables had to keep being pushed further and further away from the edge of the restaurant because people were getting wet.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Today was United Nations Day at the girls' school. Badri and I put together a slide show with Powerpoint (actually, I picked the pics, and Badri put the presentation together). I went to the school today and showed the children pictures of the U.S.

I mentioned to Maya that she was a vegetarian today, and she got a bit indignant, "No I'm not. I'm an American!"

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Some of you New Englanders are familiar with snow days. Well, here in Bangalore we have a rain day tomorrow. The last few days have seen record setting rains, and we just got a message from the school that it will be closed tomorrow. Badri's office is likely to announce a "work from home" day tomorrow because it's so bad. I must say, at first I was disappointed to hear the girls would have no school tomorrow, but then we talked about what fun we'd have watching videos, eating popcorn and ice cream. It's fine to listen to the rain falling outside when you're warm and dry inside, but every day I see the rains coming heavily I think of all those who are either unsheltered or inadequately sheltered. I feel very lucky.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Went to Genie Kids with Charlie. It's a fun place with extracurricular activities for young kids, and a program called "Wonder Years" for Charlie's age group. It was a lot of circle time with 4 other kids and their moms. One point the facilitator made that stuck with me: ACCEPT. Don't try to change your kid or get them to move through a stage (no matter how annoying) faster. Gotta remember that. The sessions go from 10:30-12:30, and of course Charlie was melting by 11:45. I'll see how it goes next session, otherwise try to leave by 11:30 most weeks.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Went to Overseas Women's Club for the 10-12 Thurs. tea and coffee. At first thought it was going to be one of those weeks where I don't see anyone I know or feel like getting to know, then went over to say hi to Susheela Thomas, one of my favorite people there. Sitting with her was Frank, from Boston, whose wife is here working with Fidelity. He knows John, a friend of my friend Jennifer Sharkey, also in the Boston area. John works for Fidelity, and Jennifer had told me last year some time that he was heading over here.

Friday, October 28, 2005, Bangalore to Chennai to Singapore

Left for Chennai on the way to Singapore about 1pm. Plane delayed for 4 hours in Chennai. Managed to while away the time in the airport playroom (kids loved the oversized stuffed animals) and then in the business lounge. Called Patti and Thatha (they live in Chennai) and made preparations to shift to their place in case the flight cancelled for the day. One meltdown (either Charlie or Molly--I can't remember as I'm writing this 10 days later) but, mercifully, we're the only ones in the business section so it's less painful to endure since there are no passengers giving "uncomfortable" looks.

Arrive in Singapore very late. Staying at a nice service apartment with very comfy beds, kitchen, living room/dining room. Swimming pool on rooftop.

Saturday, October 29, 2005, Singapore to Bali, Indonesia

Fly to Bali. The kids are so rowdy that one woman in business class moves back to economy(!). Get a taxi transfer from airport to Westin Nusa Dua. Arrive just in time to receive wonderful welcome from two musicians on traditional Balinese instruments (wooden percussion) and one dancer. Kids LOVE it. Musicians show them how to play their instruments.

Great family room. We brought the monitor, so we tucked the kids into their "Heavenly Beds" (I think the name is copyrighted in the hotel literature). Molly and Maya slept in single beds surrounded by pillows, and Charlie had a terrific crib (cot).

Sunday, October 30, 2005, Bali

Had a great breakfast--pancakes, omelets, heavenly bacon (not copyrighted). The kids feed the fish in the ponds between the restaurant and the swimming pools. Spent most of the day in the pools, especially the kiddie pool which is a perfect height for the three kids. Molly and Charlie in water wings, Maya without. When we go in the deeper pools, Maya puts on a swimming vest we brought.

The biggest event of note: Maya learned to swim on her own for short distances (without vest). She is so excited, and so are we! It seems like only a couple months go by and we feel just a little more comfortable with all three in the water. When we went to Chickmagalur mid-September it was nerve wracking to have all three in the pool (I think the pool bottom was more slippery there, too, which didn't help).

Spent a little time down at the beach, but the tide was high and the drop off too steep. Badri took Maya and Molly out for a boat ride while I put Charlie down for a nap, but the three soon returned because the boat was a bit too rocky for Molly. Badri and Maya headed out in their glass bottomed boat and had a great time watching fish and seeing coral.

Monday, October 31, 2005, Bali

Great kiddie center at the hotel. Played around on the outside equipment for a bit today.

Met a very nice family who is living in Singapore--Alicia is from Barcelona and her husband is French. They most recently lived in Barcelona. They have three girls: 2, 4, and 6 years old. It was interesting sharing stories, most notably about the middle child situation. Their middle child is also very "spirited" and the biggest challenge. It was fun practicing a little Spanish and French, and Maya had fun playing in the children's center with their two oldest girls (Emma and ?). Juliette is the two year old.

Badri and I went out to dinner while a sitter from the hotel watched the sleeping children. We liked our sitter, Yandi.

Tuesday, November 1, 2005, Diwali in Bali

Balinese are mostly Hindus, but unfortunately there wasn't much recognition of Diwali at this Westin hotel. Maya was very excited about Diwali this year, re-telling the stories her teacher, Sonal, had told her about Ram and Sita returning to Ayodhya. But she was having so much fun here in Bali that she was okay about it.

This afternoon at the pool we met an English family, the wife of Gujarati descent. Their son, Kieran, had played at the kiddie center with Maya today. Well, wouldn't you know, it turns out she works for Intel in Singapore and is best friends with Ani, our friend in Bangalore (who we met through Sriram, Badri's close friend from the U.S.). (When we returned to Bangalore I forwarded to Ani a picture of Sadhana and me taken in Bali with the question, "Do you know these people?").

Managed to lose Molly today. We were on our way back to our room to freshen up before dinner and we stopped to talk to the French/Spanish family. Next thing we knew, Molly and Maya were nowhere to be seen. Within minutes, Maya found us, sans Molly. I must admit, I started to panic, what with the pools surrounding us and the ocean less than 100 yards away. I honestly don't know how long it took us to find her, but one of the hotel security guards found her walking towards the ocean. That reminds me of how we also "lost" her in Segovia, Spain in May. We definitely can't be distracted for a moment from our little wanderer.

Went to dinner at the Japanese restaurant with Sadhana and her family. Had fun with the teppanyaki, Japanese barbecue. Molly was happily amused for the better part of the evening counting and lining up her crayons, that is until we got ready to go and Charlie got the stroller. She screamed to the heavens. From now on we carry Charlie (or he happily walks) and Molly gets the stroller.

Wednesday, November 2, 2005, Bali to Singapore

Very sad to leave Bali. Badri was able to take one afternoon to go out and about and see Ubud, which some consider the cultural heart of Bali, but I stuck to the pool and ocean with the kids. Like Spain, we feel strongly that this is one place we'd like to come back to when the kids are a little older. After getting through the trying plane flights to get to our destination, I hate to stick the kids in the car at this age (almost 2, 3, and 5) for four or five hours to see sights/sites that will probably be lost on them.

We did notice that Charlie and Badri's coughing didn't really improve once we left Bangalore. It's either that they're allergic to flora that both Bangalore and Bali have in common, or it's allergies in the first place, and viral symptoms (cold) in the second, maybe going from heat to air conditioning repeatedly.

Thursday, November 3, 2005, Singapore

Back in Singapore, went swimming in the rooftop pool. Really cool to see the sky dark and ominous on one side of us, and clear blue on the other side. Charlie refused to get in the pool. Probably missed the gradual entrance that the kiddie pool had in Bali.

The five of us were standing at a crosswalk in the shopping district when Badri nudged me because someone was calling my name. It was a woman I'd met in Bangalore who also had children in the Canadian School at that time. They've recently moved to Malaysia, but were just on a shopping trip to Singapore.

Friday, November 4, 2005, Singapore

Went to the zoo and had a great time on the bus tour. The highlight of the day, and of the trip (second only to Maya's progress in swimming), was the elephant show. Maya particularly liked the Sri Lankan elephant named Kumali (one of her friends in school is American/German/Sri Lankana and her name is Kumali). I'd never seen such personality in elephants, and never realized how trainable they are.

Molly's potty training is going great guns (great progress) and Charlie's vocabulary is expanding daily. We really get a kick out of how he says Singapore and swimming pool pretty much the same way.

Saturday, November 5, 2005, Singapore to Bangalore

Got some last minute shopping in. Sandals and sneakers for Maya and Molly, sandals for Charlie, pajamas for all three.

At the airport ran into Atsuko, a very nice Japanese woman living in Bangalore who I had met several times at playgroups (her husband works for Toyota). Her daughter is 2 years old, but they don't come to playgroup anymore because she's in playschool from 8:30 to 3(!). Atsuko does yoga, plays a lot of tennis and golf, and is taking English lessons. Each expat carves out a life in the manner they see fit. I wish I could find a middle road between spending too much and too little time with my kids.

Jam packed flight on Singapore Airlines. Very last row of business, so by the time Badri and I were served dinner, Molly and Charlie were pretty wired (midnight Singapore time, and they weren't the least bit interested in sleeping) so we didn't eat our dinners. Not like we needed to. I think we both put on a few pounds while on vacation.

Got back into Bangalore at about 11:30pm India time. Picked up our keys at Sangeeta and Tutu's (they were sleeping, but their 12 year old, Koyal, was still up writing in her journal).

Home sweet home. I told Badri there was no way in hell he was going to get me on a plane until we go back to the states. Maybe we'll take the train to Chennai in December. . .

Sunday, November 6, 2005

Talked to Ani about our time in Bali and meeting her good friend Sadhana there. Shared with her the highs and lows of the trip, and she kept assuring me that it only gets better, that soon the travails of travel with little ones will seem but a distant memory (her two girls are 4 and 7, I believe).

Monday, November 7, 2005, Badri's 42nd birthday

I thought Badri came to bed very late because he was working on the computer, but it turns out Molly had been screaming in her sleep after 1am (I didn't hear a thing--amazing!) and he brought her downstairs to sleep in the guest bedroom. After about an hour she asked to be brought back up to her crib. So it was a good thing I let him sleep in. He came down about 8am to squeals of HAPPY BIRTHDAY APPA!

Kids are back in school. Hallelujah! Went to yoga and had a most exquisite stretching class. Great to see Nandita and the other regulars.

Picked up Molly from school and was happy to see how much she loves that place.

Went to the market area called Chickpet to look for a jembe (drum) for Badri. Melvin dropped me off in the car, and I walked in the rest of the way. The streets are too narrow for behemoths like our car. Took me 45 minutes (in addition to the 45 minute car ride) to get to Ganesh Musicals to find that they have lots of tablas (Indian drums) but no African jembes. But I had a terrific time wandering the streets carrying absolutely nothing but money in my pocket and phone tucked into my shirt. Whole streets dedicated to silks and sarees, silver and gold jewelry and textiles. Others to electrical supplies, still others to paper and paper goods. I resolve to go to a different part of the city, every week if I can, to soak up more of this India experience before I go. And I really have to do it without children in tow and carrying nothing whatsoever. People were very helpful, although not always sending me off in the right direction. I may have walked in circles for all I know. Badri gets a kick out of my sense[less] of direction.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Went to see Dr. Ravi, an ophthalmologist, to get my eyes checked. He says I don't really need glasses, but gave me a prescription anyway to use when I need to read very small type (darned medicine bottles are making me think I'm going blind).

Badri went to the homeopathic doctor with Charlie to have them both checked out. Molly's coughing is much better, and whatever Charlie had must have been viral because his coughing has subsided, too.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Went to a jewelry exhibit by Monica Dexter today at Raintree across from the Windsor Sheraton. The place was packed by 11am with sterling silver fanatics scooping up beautiful rings, earrings, and necklaces. I had a great time running into some people I hadn't seen for over a year. I was pretty pleased with myself for remembering a couple of their names: Alex, a woman who had referred a carpenter to me; Alison, an English woman who works for IBM; Juliette, a French woman whose daughter, Lucie, was in Maya's class at the Canadian school (Lucie came to Maya's birthday party and they really like each other--will try to organize a playdate when Maya and Badri return from the northeast India week vacation); Raji, another Canadian School mom; and Ruchi, a returned NRI (non-resident Indian) who I occasionally meet for coffee. Felt like Old Home week, as Mom would say.

Badri and I brought the kids to Pizza Corner to celebrate our birthdays (Badri's the 7th and mine the 13th). They had a great time jumping in the balls and eating pasta, pizza, and ice cream.

After they went to bed we had some friends over. Ani and Kim (Sri Lankan and Indian, both work for Intel); Dolores (American, language specialist at Microsoft); Laura and Chris (she's from Argentina, works for Sun Microsystems, and he's visiting from Austin, TX); and Sangeeta, our friend from up the street (actually all but Ani and Kim live right here in the neighborhood). Had a great evening with dinner, drinks, and lots of laughs. We really should do this more often, but I suppose we don't because we're up until the wee hours of the morning and with early wake up call, well, you know how that goes...

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Badri was up at the crack of dawn to leave on his recruiting trip to Kanpur IIT, his old alma mater. I was very happy to get over an hour nap in when Molly and Charlie were sleeping (Maya did an art project with Rita Auntie, our nanny). Dolores came by in the afternoon to visit, and she came with us to a birthday party. Nil is a Turkish friend of mine, and her daughter, Melike, is turning five today.

Again, ran into a few people I'd met before. I guess Bangalore is just a really small place. Saw Muriel, a French/Israeli woman I'd met in July when Badri and I went out to dinner; saw Marie, a German woman I used to run into a lot at Overseas Womens' Club Thursday coffeetime; and met Anu, a woman I'd seen at the jewelry exhibit yesterday, but only met for the first time today. The party was at the Kids' Corner on the top floor of the Eva Mall. The big draw there, again, is the ball bins that the kids can jump around in and slide into. Dressed up the three kids in their traditional Indian dress which Amma had given for Diwali. Hopefully one of the pictures will come out.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Great day. Kids slept 'til shortly past 7 and were in good moods. After breakfast I broke out the goodie bags Nil had given out at the birthday party yesterday and the "fishing" game each child had in their bag kept them busy for over half an hour so I could clear things away. Vani, our cook who left to have her baby in September, was the first to call and wish me happy birthday, and then Amma called from Chennai.

I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers around 9 am--Badri had them sent (he stayed in Kanpur last night) for my 44th birthday. He arrived home shortly thereafter. Took it very easy today. Our friend Sangeeta stopped by to wish me happy birthday and brought me a lovely jewelry box. Badri gave me two gorgeous saris, one a black/orange/burgundy silk/cotton blend and the other an orange/burgundy/gold cotton. He also gave me a book Yoga School Dropout by Lucy Edge. My stack of books to read is ever growing. Recently finished The Red Carpet, a book of short stories about Bangalore. Great stories, but sometimes weak endings.

In the afternoon we brought Maya to a birthday party, then Badri and I took Molly and Charlie to the Octoberfest here in Bangalore. It was just what we needed--something unlike anything we've done here in Bangalore. We got there around 4 pm, so there was still a fair amount of daylight, and the moon was nearly full that early on. The moon alone served as great entertainment for Molly and Charlie, and Badri and I enjoyed a couple beers, good band music, and watched the kids dance around. Molly got hit with her usual wanderlust, and I basically followed her around the parade grounds until she went into a darkened giant tent where they were playing DJ music and having a psychedelic light show. Molly was in her element, dancing around with a couple other children there and staring at the lights flashing around the tent.

Went back to join Maya at the birthday party (my friend Marylouise's one year old, Maura, and I share a birthday, and her other daughter, Hannah, is a close friend and classmate of Maya's). Nice group of people, of course most of whom I know from around Bangalore: Valerie from France (who I used to see at Canadian School and playgroups all the time) and Marion (director at Reuters) and her husband Phil. They're a hilarious English couple who we see occasionally at playgroups, our house and theirs, and parents' nights out (we also ran into them on one of our Goa vacations). Marylouise is another American woman (like me!) married to an Indian man. Her husband Inder works at IBM, who employs thousands of people here in Bangalore. Great time had by all. And of course the great birthday cake didn't hurt (courtesy of Jennifer and Thea out in Whitefield, who are now famous for having the most scrumptious cakes in Bangalore).

Monday, November 14, 2005

Up early because Badri had a recruiting trip and the taxi always beeps the horn right below our bedroom window. But I snuck in a delicious hour and a half nap in the afternoon so felt somewhat refreshed. Vani came over with her baby girl, who she has named Gauri Monica. It's not unusual to wait a month or more to name your baby here. Gauri is a precious little Vani, and Vani is radiant. Says her husband is completely different with this baby girl--in love with her. He couldn't be bothered to get up in the night when they had their baby boy (who's now four years old), but gets up at all hours to help Vani with Gauri.

Badri got home at a reasonable hour and we packed for his and Maya's trip to Assam and Darjeeling tomorrow.

Very upsetting today: on the way to pick up Maya from school I was reading a magazine in the car and I heard a crunch. Looked up and we had just hit a two wheeler (scooter). Our driver, Melvin, said someone on the left side of the road opened their door without looking and the scooter veered right to avoid him. The scooter just went into the side of our car with a sickening thud. A crowd quickly gathered around the woman who had fallen from the two wheeler. She looked unconscious to me and before I knew it they were scooping her up into an auto to take her to the hospital. I briefly spoke with her husband (Chandra Shakur) who was driving the two wheeler to get his name and the hospital he was taking her to. I picked up Maya from school (gave her a long and grateful hug) and then went to Chinmaya Hospital. She was conscious and having a cut in her leg stitched up. I was very relieved, and left my card with Chandra Shakur and Dr. Kumar, who was filling out the accident report.

After returning from the hospital I went and gave Charlie a long and hard hug, too. You just never know what's going to happen on these crazy roads, but then, you could be hit by a car door being opened anywhere, as I was in San Diego almost 10 years ago when I was riding my bike. Had there been a car behind me as I was thrown into the street, I would have been in very rough shape. Luckily, I just hit the road.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Maya and Badri got an early start, leaving the house at 5:20 am for a 6:05 flight to Calcutta. They're both so excited to see the one horned rhino in Khaziranga National Park (Maya's learning about it in school, coincidentally), as well as take the toy train in Darjeeling and a helicopter up there somewhere.

Went with Charlie to a great playdate at Anouk's house. All of the people there spoke French to some degree: Anouk and Armelle from France; Jana, from South Africa, speaks some; and Nina, from U.S. (fellow IVFer from NY who we met on return from Spain) speaks some because her mom was born and raised in France. We're planning a mom's night out for Nov. 30, because Armelle's moving to NY Dec. 10. Charlie went on and on about Elias (Armelle's boy) and Tiaan (Jana's boy) on the way home. Really likes both. We'll go to Tiaan's 2nd birthday party on Sat.
I'm pretty sure Anouk's apartment (flat) is Krista Pawar's old place (she moved back to NY earlier this year, or was it last year?).

Had another great massage by Anita at Aroma Gardens (330Rs, apx. $7.50). Turns out the woman who runs the place, Soma, is a good friend of Parveen, our landlady, and she used to live in Chelmsford, MA. After my massage, chatted with Soma and another woman, Seema, who runs a shop called "Things" in the neighborhood.

I'm becoming a bit sentimental about the prospect of heading back to the U.S. First and foremost I think about the people I'll miss here in India--mostly the anonymous people you always see on the street. It's just remarkable the number of people you see daily walking down the street versus walking on streets in the U.S. So many people whose names I don't even know, but see time and time again, greeting them with a namaste or a wave of the hand: the press walla (ironing man) on every block, the people walking their dogs or walking other people's dogs, the subzi wallas (veggie sellers), the maids (cooks, nannies, housecleaners) making their way to and from their employers houses, the watchmen (I'm particularly partial to the gnome like old man who stands watch on Sangeeta and Tutu's block).

The peaks and valleys of adjusting to a different culture. I'm on an upward movement this week--it all comes back to me being a social creature (not quite butterfly, I'd say). When I make the effort to get out to see people and have people over, my whole outlook on life improves. I love my children like crazy cakes (to borrow from one of Maya's favorite books), but as I'm told time and time again, I need a life outside of my children also.

I walked by Sara and Wayne's place today, and they were loading up a rented 12 seater bus and taking off for Mysore and Coorg. Found a deal where you pay the driver 100Rs (apx. $2.20) and pay 10Rs per kilometer (apx. 25 cents) for the bus. They were traveling with their four children, their friend Laura who moved to India to work as Wayne's administrative assistant (he works for a water NGO here), and Sara's mom, cousin, and mom's friend.

And now, I'm off to bed by 10 pm.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Went to yoga today. Great class, as always. 8:30 am batch is growing, with seven or eight people there these days.

Met my friend Debbie (from Ireland) at the Cha Bar below Leela Palace. We had a great chat. I'd called her last week when I was a bit down to see if we could get together. Of course, feeling better today. She has a 5 year old and 2 year old, so knows all about needing a life outside of raising kids. She's taking golf lessons to get her out and about. We'll meet up again next week, along with Tatjana and Ruchi (other Palm Meadows dwellers--out in Whitefield). Whitefield is a bit out there, to the east, so fortunately they don't mind coming in to hook up on occasion. Armelle travels in from out that way, too.

On the way home Melvin dropped me off at 100 Ft. Boutique and I told him I'd walk home from there (only about 15 minutes walk). I'm trying to do that more lately, partly for the exercise, partly to see more of street life. 100 Ft. Boutique is part restaurant, part trendy little boutique where you can buy Indian handcrafts and clothing for a steeper price than you might find on Commercial Street or CMH Street. The reason I went is because I'm too lazy to shop around for anklets, and I saw some there when I went for lunch with Badri, Amma and Appa, and Janaki Auntie and Babu Uncle a couple months ago. I can't believe I've been here a year and a half and I'm only now buying toe rings and anklets. Found both I really liked.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Went to a book sale on Palace Grounds, which I only discovered because we passed it on the way to Octoberfest on Sunday. Spent nearly two hours there, stocking up on books I know I'd never find in the U.S.--lots of children's literature by local authors, for example.

Saturday, November 19, 2005
Went to Tiaan's 2nd birthday party with Molly and Charlie. Armelle (French) there with Elias (one of Charlie's favorites) and Liam; Anouk (French) there with her husband and Suzanne; Muriel (Belgian) there with her husband and son Dorsan; Marion and Phil (English) there with Benedict, Nina and Sandeep (American and Indian) there with their twin girls. Convenient that it's only a few blocks away. But I went in the car because I wasn't sure if there was anywhere to park the double stroller, and I wasn't going to walk there, because these days I always end up carrying Molly (3 y.o.) and can barely manage to hold Charlie's (nearly 2 y.o. ) hand when I'm holding her.

Took off in the afternoon when Charlie and Molly were napping and went to PVR cinemas at the Forum Mall in Koramangala to see "Things to Do Before You're 30". Great flick. I'm a real softie, so I laughed and cried, too. Cell phone use is becoming pretty common in theatres. The woman next to me not only took a call and went on for a while, but she then made another call out. Took an auto rickshaw back to Indiranagar for 70 rupees (originally the drivers wanted 120 rs, but one came down to 70. I went from Chickpet to Indiranagar a few weeks before for 80 rupees. Sometimes they use the meter, but I don't always trust that, so I try to find out before I leave the house the going rate, then bargain with that in mind).

The air is particularly rank these days, especially with cook fires and leaves burning. Molly's coughing has gone up, probably as a direct result.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Called Molly my little sunshine this morning. Her response: "No I'm not. I'm not shiny and I'm not up in the sky."

Went to Cubbon Park with her and Charlie this morning. Had fun on the playground equipment. Had hoped to catch a toy train ride, but nothing started up until after 11, and by that time we'd had ice cream and were on our way back.

Went to a fantastic BBQ at Laura (Argentinian) and Chris's tonight. Met some terrific people from all over: Will, from Cork, Ireland; Eric, from San Sebastian, Spain, who had volunteered in Bolivia with a non profit recently and is here working on a cinema development project; Adreana, from Brazil, who is a linguist; a very nice woman (Esther?) from Lima, Peru, who is working with an Indian company; the couple from Canada (Debra and her husband) who now has Celine (our former nanny) as their maid. Charlie and Molly had a terrific time dancing and running around the yard. Laura's friend, Chris, offered to babysit them some night when Badri and I want to go out. Molly really hit it off with Adreana.

So convenient--both parties this weekend within blocks of our house. Took the double stroller to Laura's tonight. On the way over, ran into one of the really nice older women we always see walking--Molly calls her Patti (grandma). She asked if we wanted to meet a nice dog and took us over to meet her daughter's Saint Bernard, Merlin. Huge dog and only 10 months old! Her daughter is actually married to a cricket player (Badri will remind me of his name) who lives in the neighborhood.

Anyway, phenomenal music mix playing at the party tonight. I thanked my lucky stars that the kids were so well behaved, because I fully expected I might only be able to stay there for half an hour if they weren't interested in being there. As it turned out, we were there 2 1/2 hours!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Badri and Maya came back late tonight from their trip. They reeked of car exhaust from a several hour car ride they'd had earlier in the day.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Went to visit Akshara, the NGO I'm interested in finding out more about and possibly volunteering with. Met with Suzie Singh and talked about Akshara's goal of reaching out to all children in Bangalore and getting a lot of them to school, who might otherwise slip through the cracks.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Leela Escape #4: So many credit card points, I've earned yet another 24 hours at the Leela Palace (thanks to Badri!). Called ahead and asked that a DVD player and a coffee maker be put in my room. Had a very relaxing time, reading magazines, watching movies. Had a facial and foot massage down at M&W (Mirrors & Within), but that might need to stop--they've raised their prices 100 rupees, and that makes it more than I should be paying anywhere.

Met a very interesting woman, Brenda, from Minnesota and the Bay Area in California.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Went to visit Akshara's programs.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Went to the last playgroup at Armelle's. I will miss her dearly. We'll be going out tomorrow night for mom's night out. Hers is one of the only two kids who Charlie asks for by name: Elias. The other one is Tiaan, who lives a few blocks from us. Both were there today, and they had a great time.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Had a terrific mom's night out. Armelle, Anouk, Kirsty (new to Bangalore, from Australia), Jana, Nina, and me. Went to Sufi's, a Persian restaurant, and sat on beautiful pillows at a low table. The fare and service was not quite as enjoyable as the company, but the ambience is so unbeatable, I continue to go back.

I will sorely miss Armelle, and Charlie will miss her little boy, Elias. They'll be flying back to Matewan, New Jersey, where they left one year ago. At the time, they didn't know whether they'd be gone for four months or two years, so they just left things as they were and took off for India--toys strewn about the floor, Christmas tree still up (artificial, I'm assuming). I sincerely hope our paths will cross again. She expects she'll be in the northeast U.S. for another four or five years (she wants to return to France by the time her parents are 70 years old), so we might just be in the same part of the world again sometime. She'll be keeping her same email address, the most dependable way of making sure we keep in touch these days. It's people like Armelle who enrich this transient experience.