Monday, January 31, 2005
Friday, January 1, 2005
Very low key New Years Eve, especially in light of the recent tsunami tragedy. At midnight, the quiet night exploded with fireworks for about 20 minutes, then it was quiet again.
Monday, January 3, 2005
Maya's back in school. Thank goodness no one that we know of among the families at the school was hurt in the tsunami. One Canadian family we know went to Sri Lanka (they're both teachers there, and one of the sons is in Maya's class) but they're back safe and sound.
Thursday, January 6, 2005
Celebrated Charlie's 1st birthday today. All of a sudden Charlie's got a fairly thick head of hair and, some say, he's starting to look like me now that he's getting teeth. Had a cake and ice cream with the family and Charlie got a play barnyard toy from us and a beautiful truck from Nanny.
Friday, January 7, 2005
Nanny, my Mom, a.k.a. Eileen, arrived Wednesday night at 2 am. In the light of day we noticed that there was a bag snafu--Mom and an Indian man had exchanged suitcases (they were identical--both still with the Sears price tag on them). Mom was surprised to open hers and find mens' clothing, and I'm sure he was just as surprised to find kiddie toys and toiletries. Badri called Lufthansa and in no time the exchange was made.
The kids and Mom are all so excited to see each other. Molly woke up from her nap the first day Nanny was here and said, "I want to look at Nanny!" Mom seems to be getting over the jetlag very nicely.
Saturday, January 8, 2005
Today we had some people over for Charlie's first birthday. Turned out to be mostly people from the neighborhood who we see nearly daily at the park or on walks--Nandita, from my yoga class, and her two sons; Venkatesh, a realtor who walks in the park across the street; Sheelu, who I see every morning when walking with Charlie and Molly; Koyal and Ghazal, two sweet girls who live a couple blocks away, and are the daughters of friends of Badri's older brother; Gauri and her 7 month old daughter, Kia; Yuganther, a colleague of Badri's; Richy and Cajoli, relative and friend of Badri's; Upasna and her 15 month old son, Maurya, who we always see in the park (this was the first birthday party he'd ever been to, and he looked a little shell shocked); Nicola, an English friend from the Overseas Women's Club, and her adorable 15 month old daughter, Jasmine (we'd been to her 1st birthday in Sept., and that's how we discovered the Taj Sweet Shop, who makes the best birthday cakes I've ever had); and of course my Mom visiting from the U.S.
Everything was fine and dandy at the outset. The caterer, Casa Piccola (a local Italian restaurant) arrived nearly on time. Charlie was asleep when everyone arrived shortly after 4 pm. He woke up and took the crowd okay. In fact, he stood on his own for the very first time in the middle of the party. Maya changed her dress a couple times, and Molly stripped down to her t-shirt and diaper, saying she wanted to use the potty. Just as a couple people were saying they'd have to run because their kids were getting cranky around 6 pm, the lights started flickering. I thought I'd smelled something burning earlier in the day, but I'd chalked it up to people burning cooking fires or leaves in the neighborhood. While the lights were dimming and some people were heading for the door, we decided to quickly sing happy birthday and cut the cake. Then while we were handing out the cake, the lights went out altogether. The neighborhood's power supply had failed, and our UPS (uninterrupted power supply--a misnomer) also failed. So shortly after 6 we were hurriedly passing out cake and ice cream in the failing light. Thankfully, we were upstairs and we have a couple skylights up there so we could actually see what we were doing for a while.
Most of the guests left before it was pitch dark, but a few stayed. We lit candles and rounded up the few flashlights (torches) we had. The caterers cleaned up the chafing dishes and packaged up leftovers by candlelight. Charlie played happily nearby. Good thing we had the candles, because I remember when we'd been in Coorg last week and the lights went out for about 10 minutes at night, before bedtime, the kids really panicked.
The electricians and UPS man came by, and after checking out the situation told us that the UPS system had burned out. So next time we lose power, we'll have no backup until the system is fixed. This is one reason we're seriously considering moving from this stand-alone house to an apartment (flat).
All in all, a very nice party day.
January 13, 2005
Had a great dinner out with a few other moms--Laura from the U.S., Nicola from England, and Aarthi, of Indian origin, also from England. It'd been a while since I'd gone out with friends, so it was much needed. Great senses of humor, these three. Nicola sent "minutes from the very important meeting" the following day so we could all remember the points we'd brought up and meant to follow up on.
Tuesday, January 17, 2005
Mom and I were talking before going to bed last night, and all the lights went out. Power cuts (for whatever reason) aren't unusual and frequently happen during the day, but they're most annoying at night when you need lights. We have had bad luck with our UPS system, as I mentioned above. After Charlie's birthday party our UPS guy, Prasana, installed a temporary system, but it's a third less powerful than the original one. He was to have replaced it by Saturday, but of course didn't meet that deadline. So when power went out last night, there was no back up because the UPS system could only support the power required by one or two lights. Turned every single thing off in the house and then was able to re-start the back up system.
January 18, 2005
What a day, what a last--oh, I'd say 4 or 5 months. Molly's tantrums leave me feeling as though I've been wrung out and hung to dry. Tonight I was thinking maybe it was her molars, because she who hates having her teeth brushed was begging me to brush the back of her teeth hard. I brushed for her and gave her Tylenol, and that seemed to help.
Poor Maya has been having stomach pains. Mom (Nannie) is here and we're trying to figure out if it's parasites. Sister Patty and I were on the phone last night, Googling "stomach pain" across the miles and talking about what it might be. We've already de-wormed her and Molly (it's a liquid medicine they take every 6 months). Next up I'll get a sample and take it to the lab. She hates missing school, but she's not able to eat much, so is pretty weak and tired.
Prasana's UPS people came by today and replaced the backup system. I'd called Badri in London to let him know we were in the dark last night and I guess he called and lambasted the guy.
Having a great time with Mom here, despite the kids physical and mental(!) health. We went to the local high-rent Leela Palace yesterday and while Mom had a manicure and pedicure (about $10 U.S. total for both), I had my hair cut by the same woman, Stella, who worked miracles and cut Molly's hair a few days ago. Then we had lunch in Citrus, one of the Leela restaurants, outside by the pool. To give you an idea of how pricey the joint is, they charge you 1000 rupees ($22 U.S.) for the use of the pool for the day if you're not a guest there.
Badri left two days ago for a three week business trip to London, Minneapolis, and various parts of California.
Thurs., Jan. 20
Maya went back to school. Put her on the BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) diet yesterday, much as she hates it, and this morning she felt fine.
Fri., Jan. 21
Baig, our day watchman and gardener, has today, Sat., and Sun. off for Eid-al-Adha, the most important feast of the Muslim calendar. It concludes the pilgrimmage to Mecca. Eid-al-Adha lasts for three days and commemorates Ibraham's (Abraham's) willingness to obey God by sacrificing his son. Muslims believe the son to be Ishmael rather than Isaac as told in the Old Testament. Ishmael is considered the forefather of the Arabs. According to the Koran, Ibrahim was about to sacrifice his son when a voice from heaven stopped him and allowed him to sacrifice a ram instead.
Sun., Jan. 23
And on that note, went to a Catholic church in India for the first time with Mom and the kids (actually, first time ever for a Catholic church anywhere for the kids). Didn't stay long, since Charlie was getting antsy. Molly was suprisingly calm until she saw me peek my head in the window with Charlie. After ducking out of Mass, we asked Ramesh (our driver) to bring us to a sizable Hindu temple in town so Mom could see what it was like. We went to the Shiva temple near Ulsoor lake (we were told it's 700 years old) and as luck would have it, we got to see part of a wedding there. That was nice, because Mom had been invited to a friend of a friend's wedding, but it was the day after she landed in India, plus Charlie's birthday, so she'd decided to forego it.
Mon., Jan. 24
Charlie's first haircut today. One woman at the park who sees him often said he looks like a girl now, but of course I think he just looks cuter than ever. Went to the same place (Leela Palace's M&W salon), same woman (Stella), and had another stylist there take a few pics of the historic moment. Funny, every time I go to that salon (three times now), I run into someone from the OWC (Overseas Women's Club). They really know how to pamper, and I guess the word gets around.
Tues., Jan. 25
My Mom made it back safe and sound to New England, despite Boston being in the thick of a huge nor'easter (big snow storm) and very few planes able to land yesterday. Mom was amazed that my brother-in-law Andrew had shoveled her entire driveway. And my sister Mary braved two feet plus of snow with her two boys, Max and Alex, to go pick up Mom.
Big news in town last week was that Benny Hinn came to town. Maya's school was even closed for the day, last Friday, because they were afraid that thousands of protesters would come out and disrupt traffic. Benny Hinn is an American televangelist and "miracle healer", the host of one of the most popular Christian telecasts (This is Your Day!) in the world today. The controversy was that people were afraid he would be converting Hindus to Christianity.
Mon., Jan. 31
The big news to end up the month is that Charlie took his first steps today. Very exciting. And happily he took those three steps to his mama.
I'll post pictures either through Ofoto or in next month's post.
Very low key New Years Eve, especially in light of the recent tsunami tragedy. At midnight, the quiet night exploded with fireworks for about 20 minutes, then it was quiet again.
Monday, January 3, 2005
Maya's back in school. Thank goodness no one that we know of among the families at the school was hurt in the tsunami. One Canadian family we know went to Sri Lanka (they're both teachers there, and one of the sons is in Maya's class) but they're back safe and sound.
Thursday, January 6, 2005
Celebrated Charlie's 1st birthday today. All of a sudden Charlie's got a fairly thick head of hair and, some say, he's starting to look like me now that he's getting teeth. Had a cake and ice cream with the family and Charlie got a play barnyard toy from us and a beautiful truck from Nanny.
Friday, January 7, 2005
Nanny, my Mom, a.k.a. Eileen, arrived Wednesday night at 2 am. In the light of day we noticed that there was a bag snafu--Mom and an Indian man had exchanged suitcases (they were identical--both still with the Sears price tag on them). Mom was surprised to open hers and find mens' clothing, and I'm sure he was just as surprised to find kiddie toys and toiletries. Badri called Lufthansa and in no time the exchange was made.
The kids and Mom are all so excited to see each other. Molly woke up from her nap the first day Nanny was here and said, "I want to look at Nanny!" Mom seems to be getting over the jetlag very nicely.
Saturday, January 8, 2005
Today we had some people over for Charlie's first birthday. Turned out to be mostly people from the neighborhood who we see nearly daily at the park or on walks--Nandita, from my yoga class, and her two sons; Venkatesh, a realtor who walks in the park across the street; Sheelu, who I see every morning when walking with Charlie and Molly; Koyal and Ghazal, two sweet girls who live a couple blocks away, and are the daughters of friends of Badri's older brother; Gauri and her 7 month old daughter, Kia; Yuganther, a colleague of Badri's; Richy and Cajoli, relative and friend of Badri's; Upasna and her 15 month old son, Maurya, who we always see in the park (this was the first birthday party he'd ever been to, and he looked a little shell shocked); Nicola, an English friend from the Overseas Women's Club, and her adorable 15 month old daughter, Jasmine (we'd been to her 1st birthday in Sept., and that's how we discovered the Taj Sweet Shop, who makes the best birthday cakes I've ever had); and of course my Mom visiting from the U.S.
Everything was fine and dandy at the outset. The caterer, Casa Piccola (a local Italian restaurant) arrived nearly on time. Charlie was asleep when everyone arrived shortly after 4 pm. He woke up and took the crowd okay. In fact, he stood on his own for the very first time in the middle of the party. Maya changed her dress a couple times, and Molly stripped down to her t-shirt and diaper, saying she wanted to use the potty. Just as a couple people were saying they'd have to run because their kids were getting cranky around 6 pm, the lights started flickering. I thought I'd smelled something burning earlier in the day, but I'd chalked it up to people burning cooking fires or leaves in the neighborhood. While the lights were dimming and some people were heading for the door, we decided to quickly sing happy birthday and cut the cake. Then while we were handing out the cake, the lights went out altogether. The neighborhood's power supply had failed, and our UPS (uninterrupted power supply--a misnomer) also failed. So shortly after 6 we were hurriedly passing out cake and ice cream in the failing light. Thankfully, we were upstairs and we have a couple skylights up there so we could actually see what we were doing for a while.
Most of the guests left before it was pitch dark, but a few stayed. We lit candles and rounded up the few flashlights (torches) we had. The caterers cleaned up the chafing dishes and packaged up leftovers by candlelight. Charlie played happily nearby. Good thing we had the candles, because I remember when we'd been in Coorg last week and the lights went out for about 10 minutes at night, before bedtime, the kids really panicked.
The electricians and UPS man came by, and after checking out the situation told us that the UPS system had burned out. So next time we lose power, we'll have no backup until the system is fixed. This is one reason we're seriously considering moving from this stand-alone house to an apartment (flat).
All in all, a very nice party day.
January 13, 2005
Had a great dinner out with a few other moms--Laura from the U.S., Nicola from England, and Aarthi, of Indian origin, also from England. It'd been a while since I'd gone out with friends, so it was much needed. Great senses of humor, these three. Nicola sent "minutes from the very important meeting" the following day so we could all remember the points we'd brought up and meant to follow up on.
Tuesday, January 17, 2005
Mom and I were talking before going to bed last night, and all the lights went out. Power cuts (for whatever reason) aren't unusual and frequently happen during the day, but they're most annoying at night when you need lights. We have had bad luck with our UPS system, as I mentioned above. After Charlie's birthday party our UPS guy, Prasana, installed a temporary system, but it's a third less powerful than the original one. He was to have replaced it by Saturday, but of course didn't meet that deadline. So when power went out last night, there was no back up because the UPS system could only support the power required by one or two lights. Turned every single thing off in the house and then was able to re-start the back up system.
January 18, 2005
What a day, what a last--oh, I'd say 4 or 5 months. Molly's tantrums leave me feeling as though I've been wrung out and hung to dry. Tonight I was thinking maybe it was her molars, because she who hates having her teeth brushed was begging me to brush the back of her teeth hard. I brushed for her and gave her Tylenol, and that seemed to help.
Poor Maya has been having stomach pains. Mom (Nannie) is here and we're trying to figure out if it's parasites. Sister Patty and I were on the phone last night, Googling "stomach pain" across the miles and talking about what it might be. We've already de-wormed her and Molly (it's a liquid medicine they take every 6 months). Next up I'll get a sample and take it to the lab. She hates missing school, but she's not able to eat much, so is pretty weak and tired.
Prasana's UPS people came by today and replaced the backup system. I'd called Badri in London to let him know we were in the dark last night and I guess he called and lambasted the guy.
Having a great time with Mom here, despite the kids physical and mental(!) health. We went to the local high-rent Leela Palace yesterday and while Mom had a manicure and pedicure (about $10 U.S. total for both), I had my hair cut by the same woman, Stella, who worked miracles and cut Molly's hair a few days ago. Then we had lunch in Citrus, one of the Leela restaurants, outside by the pool. To give you an idea of how pricey the joint is, they charge you 1000 rupees ($22 U.S.) for the use of the pool for the day if you're not a guest there.
Badri left two days ago for a three week business trip to London, Minneapolis, and various parts of California.
Thurs., Jan. 20
Maya went back to school. Put her on the BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) diet yesterday, much as she hates it, and this morning she felt fine.
Fri., Jan. 21
Baig, our day watchman and gardener, has today, Sat., and Sun. off for Eid-al-Adha, the most important feast of the Muslim calendar. It concludes the pilgrimmage to Mecca. Eid-al-Adha lasts for three days and commemorates Ibraham's (Abraham's) willingness to obey God by sacrificing his son. Muslims believe the son to be Ishmael rather than Isaac as told in the Old Testament. Ishmael is considered the forefather of the Arabs. According to the Koran, Ibrahim was about to sacrifice his son when a voice from heaven stopped him and allowed him to sacrifice a ram instead.
The feast re-enacts Ibrahim's obedience by sacrificing a cow or ram. The family eats about a third of the meal and donates the rest to the poor.
We've been invited to Baig's daughter's wedding on Feb. 7. It will be our first Muslim wedding.
Sun., Jan. 23
And on that note, went to a Catholic church in India for the first time with Mom and the kids (actually, first time ever for a Catholic church anywhere for the kids). Didn't stay long, since Charlie was getting antsy. Molly was suprisingly calm until she saw me peek my head in the window with Charlie. After ducking out of Mass, we asked Ramesh (our driver) to bring us to a sizable Hindu temple in town so Mom could see what it was like. We went to the Shiva temple near Ulsoor lake (we were told it's 700 years old) and as luck would have it, we got to see part of a wedding there. That was nice, because Mom had been invited to a friend of a friend's wedding, but it was the day after she landed in India, plus Charlie's birthday, so she'd decided to forego it.
Mon., Jan. 24
Charlie's first haircut today. One woman at the park who sees him often said he looks like a girl now, but of course I think he just looks cuter than ever. Went to the same place (Leela Palace's M&W salon), same woman (Stella), and had another stylist there take a few pics of the historic moment. Funny, every time I go to that salon (three times now), I run into someone from the OWC (Overseas Women's Club). They really know how to pamper, and I guess the word gets around.
Tues., Jan. 25
My Mom made it back safe and sound to New England, despite Boston being in the thick of a huge nor'easter (big snow storm) and very few planes able to land yesterday. Mom was amazed that my brother-in-law Andrew had shoveled her entire driveway. And my sister Mary braved two feet plus of snow with her two boys, Max and Alex, to go pick up Mom.
Big news in town last week was that Benny Hinn came to town. Maya's school was even closed for the day, last Friday, because they were afraid that thousands of protesters would come out and disrupt traffic. Benny Hinn is an American televangelist and "miracle healer", the host of one of the most popular Christian telecasts (This is Your Day!) in the world today. The controversy was that people were afraid he would be converting Hindus to Christianity.
Mon., Jan. 31
The big news to end up the month is that Charlie took his first steps today. Very exciting. And happily he took those three steps to his mama.
I'll post pictures either through Ofoto or in next month's post.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
December 31, 2004
Happy New Year to all of you, and all the best in 2005. Belated Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it. We did here in India.
Here we are on the last day of 2005. Little Charlie had me up at 4 am and now he's playing around with all the computer equipment, so let's see how long I can write.
Mercifully, our city Bangalore was spared from any of the effects of the tsunami that hit on Dec. 26 (Black Sunday some of the newspapers are calling it here). Upwards of 10,000 people have died in India alone. The disaster struck very close to Badri's parents' house, Amma and Appa, in Chennai, and roughly one kilometer from their house, over 2,000 people died near the beach. They and all of our other relatives throughout India are safe and unhurt.
Badri and I thank our lucky stars that we're often procrastinators and poor planners. Back in October we'd been planning an end-of-the-year beach holiday and were trying to book a spot in Thailand or Sri Lanka. All rooms were booked even back then. Those were two of the worst hit countries. Some close friends of ours (the kids on the couch with our kids in the Christmas picture below) returned from Sri Lanka only two days before the tsunami hit the beach they'd visited.
We're checking out a few of the humanitarian organizations coordinating the aid effort. If anyone's interested in what we come up with, drop me a line.
Many of you have asked for our mailing address. It is:
The Raghavans
No. 33 2nd Main
Defence Colony, Indiranagar
Bangalore, 560 038
INDIA
We just returned last night from our three day trip to Coorg. The region is called the Scotland of India because of its beautiful hills and lush green valleys. At the heart of Coorg is the Cauvery River, which is one of the 7 sacred rivers of the Hindu faith. Legend has if that every year on October 18 (Molly's birthday), the Goddess Parvati (some consider her to be the goddess of feminine power) emerges from a spring that's the source of the Cauvery.
It was a long car ride to and back, and I've resolved to take on no more than a two hour road trip until Charlie is about 15 (years!). He was wailing for the last couple hours of the 7 hour ride, and the next day his 4th tooth (front) showed up. I suppose every bump in the hellacious road sent searing pain through his skull with that tooth coming down. But once we got there he slept and napped better than ever. It's so peaceful--only the sound of birds outside the windows. No construction banging or car horns beeping. Really out in the middle of nowhere.
Badri and I went on a wonderful "forest trek" around the coffee plantation run by Orange County (the resort where we stayed). Our guide's name was Murthy, from Tamil Nadu. Adjacent to the plantation is the Dubare Forest, where we saw the tallest bamboo bushes I've ever seen--at least 3 stories high. The owner of Orange County is environmentally conscious, so the electric fences separating the plantation from the forest are set at--what we were told is--low voltage. Evidently the government comes around periodically to check the voltage because there are cases of farmers putting too high a charge on the fence and elephants get electrocuted to death. In some communities, elephants are trampling their crops, and that's how the farmers cope--by upping the amps on the fence.
We saw beautiful ant nests made out of elephant dung--the industrious little guys take the dung bit by bit and build a nest a foot and a half high. Murthy showed us how, if you take the ant off a branch near the nest, the ant just walks up your arm. If you take an ant directly from the nest, it bites your arm. I guess he has pretty tough skin, because he took ants off both places.
While we were at Orange County there was a festival going on and Maya had fun doing some of the activities. She had mehendi done on both her hands. Mehendi is the Indian art of painting beautiful designs on hands and feet, traditionally on the bride before marriage. Now it's become very popular for those who aren't getting married as well.
There was a pool at the resort. The kids are crazy about getting into the pool, and Maya's really starting to get the paddling and kicking thing down. Molly enjoys walking around in the two feet kiddie pool, and Charlie just likes scootching around the pool.
I suppose the highlight of the three days was the elephant ride (see picture below). Our elephant's name was Indra, king of the heavens. I did feel pretty badly about being one of four adults getting up on this poor beast though. I must say it was more comfortable than the camel ride Badri and I took back in 1998 in the Rajasthan (India) desert.
No, come to think of it, the highlight for me was the massage. This is total decadence, but it was done by five women with two liters of oil and lasted one and a half hours. Badri had one at the same time, done by five men. The only downside was that I broke out in a rash all over my body the next day. I figure it was from the body scrub made from ayurvedic herbs that I showered with after the massage.
December 25, 2004
Some of you have asked how/whether we'll celebrate Christmas in India. Although 5% or less of India is Christian, many more (Hindus, especially) observe parts of the Christmas tradition, such as putting up a tree, buying presents, going to parties, etc. We put up a tree a couple weeks before Christmas, made Christmas cookies (see picture), put out cookies, milk, and carrots for Santa and his reindeer, and opened presents on Christmas morning. There's an apartment building across the park from us that kept us up late Christmas eve with their loud party--almost as loud as the party they had on Diwali (India's biggest Hindu holiday/festival) in October.
December 20, 2004
As the end of the year draws near, lately I stop and think even more about how fortunate we are. I think about how lucky we are to have found Maya. The miracle of starting a family through adoption is as wondrous as the astounding surprise of conceiving through multiple IVFs (Molly) or simply a whopping surprise you never imagined would happen (Charlie). You'd be amazed at the number of people here who comment on how Maya's my spitting image (I should be so lucky!). While others comment on the fact that none of the children resemble me, but only their father. As exhausted as we are with the two little ones, we're always running to get the camcorder or camera to record these moments we don't ever want to forget.
My Mom will be traveling to India in two weeks. It should be a very exciting trip for her, flying through Frankfurt, Germany. The things we do for grandchildren!!
Dec. 19, 2004
I bought two tickets for a magic show for Maya and me. My yoga teacher's daughter is a student at Christ College and their Center for Social Action was sponsoring the show as a fundraiser for an orphanage being built. I thought it'd be a fun thing for Maya and I to do together. We both got dressed up in our salwar kameez (north indian attire of long shirt and blousy pants underneath, with dupatta--scarf) . But the show started out with an earsplitting video showing the magician doing his Houdini-like tricks, including being lowered head first in chains into a burning haystack. Maya was covering her ears and after a few minutes we took off. There was a popcorn vendor outside so we ate some popcorna and waited to see if the volume went down at all. When it didn't, we left and went to the Baskin Robbins in our neighborhood to pick up some ice cream.
Dec. 18, 2004
Brought Charlie to the doctor's today because I knew he had a few shots due. Had measles (there's an additional vaccine besides the MMR/measles, mumps, rubella here), oral polio virus, and hepatitis B vaccinations. Another reason I brought him in is because Celine thought he looked yellow. Well, sure enough he is--doc says it's from eating so many carrots! He's a skinny little guy--just barely 20 lbs. and 30 inches long. The last couple mornings (5 am is his wake up time the last few days) I've gone in to find him sitting up in his crib. He's down for a nap by 8:30 or 9am, if the construction noise next to his room allows it.
December 13, 2004
Okay, a bunch of you wrote to say you hope the kids were feeling better. Well, they were--for a couple weeks. But then Molly threw up last week and Charlie did, too, over the last couple days. Just so you know. Hope none of you are reading this over coffee and toast or anything.
Big news today--Molly sat on the potty and actually peed today. She's sat on the potty plenty of times before (usually after she wet her diaper), but this time she was actually productive. I'm too exhausted to do a comprehensive, all-out potty training with her right now--after all, she's just turned two (which, by the way, is late by Indian standards, but not by U.S. customs, as many of you know). I told Celine Auntie I'd give her a nice bonus if she potty trained Molly.
I'm reading Paolo Coelho's The Alchemist. It was given to Badri by his cousin, Kadham. I'd never heard of Coelho before, but evidently he's a bestseller in most countries but the U.S. It's an inspiring, easy read about a Spanish shephard boy who is pursuing his dream.
December 12, 2004
Went to a little mini-mall and picked up an artificial Christmas tree, a few boxes of ornaments and a tree-topping angel, all for about $50. I asked around and the real trees aren't available. Celebration of Christmas is actually much bigger here than I thought it would be. The other night three carolers came to the house, one strumming guitar, and sang a few Christmas songs for us. Celine Auntie (our nanny) is Catholic, so had her ears perked for them and let us know when they arrived at the house. As it was for us as children, Christmas is the biggest holiday of the year for Celine, and it is the only day she requested off in advance when we were hiring her. We actually planned our end-of-the-year trip around her. She's taking Dec. 25 and 26 off, and we'll be traveling to Coorg (home of the hills and coffee plantations) with her from Dec. 27-30.
December 9, 2004
Went to the year-end musical play at Maya's kindergarten (3 classes: pre-K; jr. K; and sr. K--Maya's in jr. K). The kids did a great job. Maya was one of the piggies and joined some of her buddies in competing to see who could sing the loudest. She'll be out of school from Dec. 10 until the beginning of 2005. It'll be nice to have her home for a few weeks and not need to hustle her out of the door at 7:45 a.m.
December 7, 2004
I should share some of the feedback I get from this update. One friend, Hap, suggests I include a picture of the $1000 dress on the next monthly. Maybe I will--but I just fear how crazy you'll all think I am ("She paid WHAT for THAT?!!?").
Christmas party on Saturday was great fun. I went first with Maya and she had a great time doing arts and crafts (decorating a lifesize snowman, painting some pottery, frosting gingerbread men) and seeing lots of her friends from school. I also got to see lots of people I'd met in the beginning of our time here, but never see anymore (since Maya's been going to the Canadian school, we've not been able to go to a different playgroup in another part of town, and I'd found some of the moms out there interesting). Badri and Celine Auntie (our nanny) came later with Charlie and Molly. These two had a great time just scootching/running around the grassy area with other little ones, and all three had their picture taken with Santa.
Small-world story that day: I met an Indian woman who'd lived in California a few years ago--not just in Calif., but in our little community of Tierrasanta (near the Padres' stadium in San Diego).
Today I went to another part of Bangalore, to a school I'd heard sells Montessori learning materials. It's in a completely different part of town, with lots of mosques, much older, more congested. I spoke with Claire, a French woman, on the phone, and she met me on the main street and walked me through some narrow streets back to the school. The children were having lunch when we arrived and she introduced me to the teacher. About 20 students, they are all from poor families and get most of their daily food at the school.
Claire set up the school and the microenterprise (small business) across the street from the school four years ago. She's an engineer by trade and studied for six months in Montreal. She develops the games and educational materials and the local women working there produce the material. I really liked a lot of their stuff (puzzles, matching games) and bought some of it--most of which I'll give our three little munchkins for Christmas presents. I'll be hosting a playgroup in a couple weeks and Claire will bring some of her materials so the kids can play with them and the moms and dads can check them out (kind of the NGO version of a Tupperware party--which, by the way, is also sold here in India). The small business partly supports the school, and I offered to proofread her materials since I think it's such a worthy cause.
Off I go to bed. Just missed my 9 a.m. bedtime deadline. Since Badri's out of town these last couple days, I've been hitting the hay unusually early so I can keep up with Molly's 5 am wake up call these days. It's only by waking up that early that I can get them all fed and clothed without rushing too much to get Maya out the door by 7:45. I then take Charlie and Molly in the double stroller on our half hour loop before we land up at the park. On that loop I usually stop for fruit or vegetables that we need for the next day or two. Gotta love that stroller with the deep underbasket. We run into very interesting people along the way. One older gentleman, along with his wife, is raising his three grandsons (3 year old twins and a one-year-old) for the next two years while his son and daughter-in-law work in Marlboro, Massachusetts. I couldn't bear the thought of missing those years with my kids, but I guess people do what they think they have to do (interjecting my judgement here--the son and daughter-in-law are not migrant apple pickers or anything: they work for a high tech company and the Mass. Medical Society).
December 3, 2004
The last month of 2004--pretty amazing!
Charlie's scootching around on his bum like crazy and waving, saying "Baa". Molly's favorite thing starting today is having Amuma (grandmother--Badri's aunt) tickle her cheek with a leaf. She likes it even better on the belly, so walks up to Amuma, pulls up her shirt, and says, "Tickle me!" It puts her into a trancelike state where she actually starts drooling (just picture that!). And poor Maya--today she went all the way to school, throwing up on the way (so that's why she didn't feel like eating breakfast!), to find that there was no school today (teachers preparing report cards). She came home and slept for over three hours, then went to her good buddy's birthday party, Manasvi (they met at Maya's first school here, Kangaroo Kids, and have monthly playdates). It was at a place called Amoeba, pretty much like Chuck E. Cheese. Her favorite part was eating the cake that was a Barbie Doll with a huge pink cake dress.
Badri's in Delhi for campus recruiting at his old alma mater, St. Stephens. He'll be trying to hook up with some professors he hasn't seen in, oh, probably about 20 years.
Amuma and Pata are heading off for Hampi on Sunday to see the ruins. Pata just gave a lecture at a local university on "Indian Immigrants in America." There was a good turnout and it sounds like something I would have liked to have gone to. If only I could be two places at once!
Tomorrow's a big Christmas party thrown by the Overseas Women's Club. The kids are supposed to write letters to Santa before we go, and I hear there will be arts and crafts and lots of yummies. Should be interesting. From 11 to 2, Molly's naptime. We'll bring the stroller in case she has to crash.
Maya on Santa's lap at Christmas party
Appa and his girls
Maya and Molly making cookies with Vani (our cook)
Charlie helping me with the laundry
This was the best we could do for the kiddies' Christmas picture
Our kids with the DeCostas, the friends who were in Sri Lanka 2 days before the tsunami
And this was the best we could do for the family picture
Molly and Appa
Elephant bath
Scrubbing the elephant
Charlie with Thomas the Tank Engine
Riding Indra
At the Tibetan buddhist temple
Charlie and me at Tibetan buddhist temple
Happy New Year to all of you, and all the best in 2005. Belated Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it. We did here in India.
Here we are on the last day of 2005. Little Charlie had me up at 4 am and now he's playing around with all the computer equipment, so let's see how long I can write.
Mercifully, our city Bangalore was spared from any of the effects of the tsunami that hit on Dec. 26 (Black Sunday some of the newspapers are calling it here). Upwards of 10,000 people have died in India alone. The disaster struck very close to Badri's parents' house, Amma and Appa, in Chennai, and roughly one kilometer from their house, over 2,000 people died near the beach. They and all of our other relatives throughout India are safe and unhurt.
Badri and I thank our lucky stars that we're often procrastinators and poor planners. Back in October we'd been planning an end-of-the-year beach holiday and were trying to book a spot in Thailand or Sri Lanka. All rooms were booked even back then. Those were two of the worst hit countries. Some close friends of ours (the kids on the couch with our kids in the Christmas picture below) returned from Sri Lanka only two days before the tsunami hit the beach they'd visited.
We're checking out a few of the humanitarian organizations coordinating the aid effort. If anyone's interested in what we come up with, drop me a line.
Many of you have asked for our mailing address. It is:
The Raghavans
No. 33 2nd Main
Defence Colony, Indiranagar
Bangalore, 560 038
INDIA
We just returned last night from our three day trip to Coorg. The region is called the Scotland of India because of its beautiful hills and lush green valleys. At the heart of Coorg is the Cauvery River, which is one of the 7 sacred rivers of the Hindu faith. Legend has if that every year on October 18 (Molly's birthday), the Goddess Parvati (some consider her to be the goddess of feminine power) emerges from a spring that's the source of the Cauvery.
It was a long car ride to and back, and I've resolved to take on no more than a two hour road trip until Charlie is about 15 (years!). He was wailing for the last couple hours of the 7 hour ride, and the next day his 4th tooth (front) showed up. I suppose every bump in the hellacious road sent searing pain through his skull with that tooth coming down. But once we got there he slept and napped better than ever. It's so peaceful--only the sound of birds outside the windows. No construction banging or car horns beeping. Really out in the middle of nowhere.
Badri and I went on a wonderful "forest trek" around the coffee plantation run by Orange County (the resort where we stayed). Our guide's name was Murthy, from Tamil Nadu. Adjacent to the plantation is the Dubare Forest, where we saw the tallest bamboo bushes I've ever seen--at least 3 stories high. The owner of Orange County is environmentally conscious, so the electric fences separating the plantation from the forest are set at--what we were told is--low voltage. Evidently the government comes around periodically to check the voltage because there are cases of farmers putting too high a charge on the fence and elephants get electrocuted to death. In some communities, elephants are trampling their crops, and that's how the farmers cope--by upping the amps on the fence.
We saw beautiful ant nests made out of elephant dung--the industrious little guys take the dung bit by bit and build a nest a foot and a half high. Murthy showed us how, if you take the ant off a branch near the nest, the ant just walks up your arm. If you take an ant directly from the nest, it bites your arm. I guess he has pretty tough skin, because he took ants off both places.
While we were at Orange County there was a festival going on and Maya had fun doing some of the activities. She had mehendi done on both her hands. Mehendi is the Indian art of painting beautiful designs on hands and feet, traditionally on the bride before marriage. Now it's become very popular for those who aren't getting married as well.
There was a pool at the resort. The kids are crazy about getting into the pool, and Maya's really starting to get the paddling and kicking thing down. Molly enjoys walking around in the two feet kiddie pool, and Charlie just likes scootching around the pool.
I suppose the highlight of the three days was the elephant ride (see picture below). Our elephant's name was Indra, king of the heavens. I did feel pretty badly about being one of four adults getting up on this poor beast though. I must say it was more comfortable than the camel ride Badri and I took back in 1998 in the Rajasthan (India) desert.
No, come to think of it, the highlight for me was the massage. This is total decadence, but it was done by five women with two liters of oil and lasted one and a half hours. Badri had one at the same time, done by five men. The only downside was that I broke out in a rash all over my body the next day. I figure it was from the body scrub made from ayurvedic herbs that I showered with after the massage.
December 25, 2004
Some of you have asked how/whether we'll celebrate Christmas in India. Although 5% or less of India is Christian, many more (Hindus, especially) observe parts of the Christmas tradition, such as putting up a tree, buying presents, going to parties, etc. We put up a tree a couple weeks before Christmas, made Christmas cookies (see picture), put out cookies, milk, and carrots for Santa and his reindeer, and opened presents on Christmas morning. There's an apartment building across the park from us that kept us up late Christmas eve with their loud party--almost as loud as the party they had on Diwali (India's biggest Hindu holiday/festival) in October.
December 20, 2004
As the end of the year draws near, lately I stop and think even more about how fortunate we are. I think about how lucky we are to have found Maya. The miracle of starting a family through adoption is as wondrous as the astounding surprise of conceiving through multiple IVFs (Molly) or simply a whopping surprise you never imagined would happen (Charlie). You'd be amazed at the number of people here who comment on how Maya's my spitting image (I should be so lucky!). While others comment on the fact that none of the children resemble me, but only their father. As exhausted as we are with the two little ones, we're always running to get the camcorder or camera to record these moments we don't ever want to forget.
My Mom will be traveling to India in two weeks. It should be a very exciting trip for her, flying through Frankfurt, Germany. The things we do for grandchildren!!
Dec. 19, 2004
I bought two tickets for a magic show for Maya and me. My yoga teacher's daughter is a student at Christ College and their Center for Social Action was sponsoring the show as a fundraiser for an orphanage being built. I thought it'd be a fun thing for Maya and I to do together. We both got dressed up in our salwar kameez (north indian attire of long shirt and blousy pants underneath, with dupatta--scarf) . But the show started out with an earsplitting video showing the magician doing his Houdini-like tricks, including being lowered head first in chains into a burning haystack. Maya was covering her ears and after a few minutes we took off. There was a popcorn vendor outside so we ate some popcorna and waited to see if the volume went down at all. When it didn't, we left and went to the Baskin Robbins in our neighborhood to pick up some ice cream.
Dec. 18, 2004
Brought Charlie to the doctor's today because I knew he had a few shots due. Had measles (there's an additional vaccine besides the MMR/measles, mumps, rubella here), oral polio virus, and hepatitis B vaccinations. Another reason I brought him in is because Celine thought he looked yellow. Well, sure enough he is--doc says it's from eating so many carrots! He's a skinny little guy--just barely 20 lbs. and 30 inches long. The last couple mornings (5 am is his wake up time the last few days) I've gone in to find him sitting up in his crib. He's down for a nap by 8:30 or 9am, if the construction noise next to his room allows it.
December 13, 2004
Okay, a bunch of you wrote to say you hope the kids were feeling better. Well, they were--for a couple weeks. But then Molly threw up last week and Charlie did, too, over the last couple days. Just so you know. Hope none of you are reading this over coffee and toast or anything.
Big news today--Molly sat on the potty and actually peed today. She's sat on the potty plenty of times before (usually after she wet her diaper), but this time she was actually productive. I'm too exhausted to do a comprehensive, all-out potty training with her right now--after all, she's just turned two (which, by the way, is late by Indian standards, but not by U.S. customs, as many of you know). I told Celine Auntie I'd give her a nice bonus if she potty trained Molly.
I'm reading Paolo Coelho's The Alchemist. It was given to Badri by his cousin, Kadham. I'd never heard of Coelho before, but evidently he's a bestseller in most countries but the U.S. It's an inspiring, easy read about a Spanish shephard boy who is pursuing his dream.
December 12, 2004
Went to a little mini-mall and picked up an artificial Christmas tree, a few boxes of ornaments and a tree-topping angel, all for about $50. I asked around and the real trees aren't available. Celebration of Christmas is actually much bigger here than I thought it would be. The other night three carolers came to the house, one strumming guitar, and sang a few Christmas songs for us. Celine Auntie (our nanny) is Catholic, so had her ears perked for them and let us know when they arrived at the house. As it was for us as children, Christmas is the biggest holiday of the year for Celine, and it is the only day she requested off in advance when we were hiring her. We actually planned our end-of-the-year trip around her. She's taking Dec. 25 and 26 off, and we'll be traveling to Coorg (home of the hills and coffee plantations) with her from Dec. 27-30.
December 9, 2004
Went to the year-end musical play at Maya's kindergarten (3 classes: pre-K; jr. K; and sr. K--Maya's in jr. K). The kids did a great job. Maya was one of the piggies and joined some of her buddies in competing to see who could sing the loudest. She'll be out of school from Dec. 10 until the beginning of 2005. It'll be nice to have her home for a few weeks and not need to hustle her out of the door at 7:45 a.m.
December 7, 2004
I should share some of the feedback I get from this update. One friend, Hap, suggests I include a picture of the $1000 dress on the next monthly. Maybe I will--but I just fear how crazy you'll all think I am ("She paid WHAT for THAT?!!?").
Christmas party on Saturday was great fun. I went first with Maya and she had a great time doing arts and crafts (decorating a lifesize snowman, painting some pottery, frosting gingerbread men) and seeing lots of her friends from school. I also got to see lots of people I'd met in the beginning of our time here, but never see anymore (since Maya's been going to the Canadian school, we've not been able to go to a different playgroup in another part of town, and I'd found some of the moms out there interesting). Badri and Celine Auntie (our nanny) came later with Charlie and Molly. These two had a great time just scootching/running around the grassy area with other little ones, and all three had their picture taken with Santa.
Small-world story that day: I met an Indian woman who'd lived in California a few years ago--not just in Calif., but in our little community of Tierrasanta (near the Padres' stadium in San Diego).
Today I went to another part of Bangalore, to a school I'd heard sells Montessori learning materials. It's in a completely different part of town, with lots of mosques, much older, more congested. I spoke with Claire, a French woman, on the phone, and she met me on the main street and walked me through some narrow streets back to the school. The children were having lunch when we arrived and she introduced me to the teacher. About 20 students, they are all from poor families and get most of their daily food at the school.
Claire set up the school and the microenterprise (small business) across the street from the school four years ago. She's an engineer by trade and studied for six months in Montreal. She develops the games and educational materials and the local women working there produce the material. I really liked a lot of their stuff (puzzles, matching games) and bought some of it--most of which I'll give our three little munchkins for Christmas presents. I'll be hosting a playgroup in a couple weeks and Claire will bring some of her materials so the kids can play with them and the moms and dads can check them out (kind of the NGO version of a Tupperware party--which, by the way, is also sold here in India). The small business partly supports the school, and I offered to proofread her materials since I think it's such a worthy cause.
Off I go to bed. Just missed my 9 a.m. bedtime deadline. Since Badri's out of town these last couple days, I've been hitting the hay unusually early so I can keep up with Molly's 5 am wake up call these days. It's only by waking up that early that I can get them all fed and clothed without rushing too much to get Maya out the door by 7:45. I then take Charlie and Molly in the double stroller on our half hour loop before we land up at the park. On that loop I usually stop for fruit or vegetables that we need for the next day or two. Gotta love that stroller with the deep underbasket. We run into very interesting people along the way. One older gentleman, along with his wife, is raising his three grandsons (3 year old twins and a one-year-old) for the next two years while his son and daughter-in-law work in Marlboro, Massachusetts. I couldn't bear the thought of missing those years with my kids, but I guess people do what they think they have to do (interjecting my judgement here--the son and daughter-in-law are not migrant apple pickers or anything: they work for a high tech company and the Mass. Medical Society).
December 3, 2004
The last month of 2004--pretty amazing!
Charlie's scootching around on his bum like crazy and waving, saying "Baa". Molly's favorite thing starting today is having Amuma (grandmother--Badri's aunt) tickle her cheek with a leaf. She likes it even better on the belly, so walks up to Amuma, pulls up her shirt, and says, "Tickle me!" It puts her into a trancelike state where she actually starts drooling (just picture that!). And poor Maya--today she went all the way to school, throwing up on the way (so that's why she didn't feel like eating breakfast!), to find that there was no school today (teachers preparing report cards). She came home and slept for over three hours, then went to her good buddy's birthday party, Manasvi (they met at Maya's first school here, Kangaroo Kids, and have monthly playdates). It was at a place called Amoeba, pretty much like Chuck E. Cheese. Her favorite part was eating the cake that was a Barbie Doll with a huge pink cake dress.
Badri's in Delhi for campus recruiting at his old alma mater, St. Stephens. He'll be trying to hook up with some professors he hasn't seen in, oh, probably about 20 years.
Amuma and Pata are heading off for Hampi on Sunday to see the ruins. Pata just gave a lecture at a local university on "Indian Immigrants in America." There was a good turnout and it sounds like something I would have liked to have gone to. If only I could be two places at once!
Tomorrow's a big Christmas party thrown by the Overseas Women's Club. The kids are supposed to write letters to Santa before we go, and I hear there will be arts and crafts and lots of yummies. Should be interesting. From 11 to 2, Molly's naptime. We'll bring the stroller in case she has to crash.
Maya on Santa's lap at Christmas party
Appa and his girls
Maya and Molly making cookies with Vani (our cook)
Charlie helping me with the laundry
This was the best we could do for the kiddies' Christmas picture
Our kids with the DeCostas, the friends who were in Sri Lanka 2 days before the tsunami
And this was the best we could do for the family picture
Molly and Appa
Elephant bath
Scrubbing the elephant
Charlie with Thomas the Tank Engine
Riding Indra
At the Tibetan buddhist temple
Charlie and me at Tibetan buddhist temple
